Captain Jack Raptor - Liar Liar
A crying Lagos girl sat in the hut. I knew it was our target, Serena, the daughter of the port master. She screamed at me and yelled several obscenities in a variety of languages. Smart kid. I replied in Yoruba, "So what? You were lied to, and twice. By your Johnson, both times. Welcome to your first Shadowrun, kiddo." Still, her choked words rang in my ears "You lied to me! Lying is wrong!" To which I gave my standard answer, "The truth is far more dangerous than you ever want to know. Lies are the shield that protect us all, especially in our line of work." And something snapped and kicked in the back of my brain. ---- I was 9 years old. My daddy just came back to the front door of our stinking house. It's not even a house, just a one-room shack in the Barrens, barely enough electricity and room for a family. Daddy was drunk. He usually is drunk. He is mean when he is drunk. This time, he had another woman that wasn't Mommy with him. Mommy had already gone to sleep in the house, and she had been crying. I was outside because Mommy didn't like it when I saw her cry, and she'd throw things at me. "Daddy?" I asked, sitting at the front door. "What? You have a runt? What the drek is this?" said the strange woman. "No, he's not mine. He's just a street kid who begs food occasionally. Come on, I paid you, now you have to put out," said my daddy. He grabbed the woman, who backed off and was yelling at him. "Daddy? What is wrong? You're my daddy, right? Who is this woman? Mommy has been crying again," I fought hard to bite back my own tears. Why would my daddy say I'm not his kid? I told myself to be strong, like the Crimson Thrashers who came around and protected us. "Pff. Figures," said the woman, as she walked down the street in a huff. "You were lying to me all along. Just take back your money. I'm not going to frag with some loser with a kid in the Barrens." "Bitch! You come back here! Ah, fraggin' drek," my daddy turned to me, and raised his hand. I stood tall and readied myself for the blow. But the hand never came. Daddy collapsed on the ground beside me, and looked up at me. "Shonny, you better get one thing straight. The world is full of liars. I'm one of them, your mom is one of them, all the goddamn people in the world lie." "But mommy tells me not to lie to anyone." "Your momma is wrong about that. Trust me on this one, kiddo. The truth can be dangerous. We lie to protect the ones we love." "But that don't make sense." "It will when you're older, son. It will when you're older." ---- I think I always remembered that moment because he didn't hit me, that time. All the other times, he beat me senseless for defying him. But the look of pity and regret on his face... I could never forget that. Even though he left soon after and was gone forever from my life. I also realized that I had not thought of this memory in a very long time. Not since before the Arcology. Wait, did Deus do this to me? I thought of another memory I had about lies and truth. ---- I was bleeding real bad. The gangers did a number on me, and I tried to plug up the bullet holes as best I could. Thank god the kid is asleep and the mom is away at work. Oh shit. He's not asleep. He standing right in front of me, with a torn stuffed Tickle-me-Dunkelzahn doll, looking at me wide-eyed with disbelief. "Daddy? What's wrong? You're hurt?" "Yes, son. I had... an accident. I'll be okay, though. Just..." I coughed and gasped, spitting out blood. I reached over and grabbed the pain needle and stabbed it near the wounds. "Did someone try to rob the Stuffer Shack? Are you going to die?" He was close to tears, the poor kid. "I... no, the Stuffer Shack is okay. I was walking home. I..." I dropped my roll under my arm, and everything spilled out. My guns, my drugs, all of the bad things I tried to hide from him. All in front of his face. He was a smart kid, and he knew what all of it was. "Daddy..." He stood there, his jaw open wide, for several precious seconds. "Are you in trouble?" I sighed heavily. "The truth is that I'm running with the Crimson Thrashers now. I've been lifting cars with them, even hurting people. Beating them up for money." The look on his face was crestfallen. His daddy wasn't the honest, hard-working hero he has always looked up to. I could see myself falling off a pedestal in his mind. I remember that moment with my own father, very early in my life. At least he had a few more years of innocence than I did. "See, are you happy now?" I sighed heavily, rustled up his hair, and sat next to him, cradling my wounds. "What are we going to tell mommy?" "We tell her the same story I kept telling you both for the last few years. I still work at the Stuffer Shack." "But that's lying to her. Mommy says not to lie." "I know. But sometimes..." And I think back to my dad, drunk and pathetic, on the ground, looking at me with sincere eyes of sadness. "Sometimes, you have to lie to protect the ones you love. Trust me on this, okay?" "Okay, daddy. I trust you." He didn't look sure, but I remember when I was in his shoes. He'll remember. Like Father, like Son. ---- Serena was long gone. I had delivered her safely to a place where she can go back home. It was a quiet ride back. She had a lot on her mind, and every time she looked at me, it was like she was trying to spit in my face, but she had too much common sense to anger the dangerous man in front of her. That dangerous man, me. I had plenty of time to think of these memories that came to the fore, violently, without warning, like slotting a chip and watching the opening credits. If all this is true, why can I not remember my son's name? Why can't I remember my wife? Why are all these memories locked away? And why are they showing up now? I figure that Deus did a number on my head. That's why I can listen to the Matrix and hear its voice. That much, I am fairly certain. But did he also take away my memories, too? The person I was before I got stuck in that hellhole? Or did he plant those memories there, to make me think that I had something to lose. Maybe I am just a dirty shadowrunner with no life and no redemption, and Deus did me a favor that, to its arrogant mind, gave me a semblance of humanity. Maybe my son and my wife never existed, or they existed in someone else's mind, and he just put it inside my wetware, like so much megapulses of code. Is this the truth? Or just a convenient fantasy that makes me complacent, comforting me in the dark recesses of my mind that I once was normal? Sitting in my boat, I look at the footage in front of me, away from prying eyes. It shows what really happened, the unedited raw truth. It also showed me and my team running around in the palace, uninvolved with the whole mess, and yet still embroiled in it. While we didn't kill the prince, everyone will think that we did. I reach out to press the delete button floating in space in front of me. Then I think about Serena's words, "You don't have to lie! Sometimes, the truth must be free." And I lied to her, telling her that we will upload the video to the shadows, just to console her. Fuck it. I pressed the send button, rocketing the data to the nearest shadow nexus. Sometimes, for whatever reason, you have to lie. Sometimes, though, you tell the truth.